I like the thrill of the chase. That is probably what attracted me to the idea of hotwifing the most. Back in my younger, single days, I did not do much barhopping or hooking-up. I was the quiet one, the good friend who looked out for my girlfriends, and made sure we got home safely. I was the modest sidekick, too shy to dance seductively with strangers or bare much skin. I lacked the confidence to attract the attention of hormonally charged 20-something guys. But, as a hotwife, I have permission from DH to do the things I was too timid to do decades ago. I get to experience the thrill of the chase…
* * * * * * * * * * *
When looking for a potential lover on Ashley Madison, the chase begins at a keyboard, rather than at a dimly lit bar over drinks. Perhaps that is why I had been unsuccessful on AM up until now. I missed the thrill of the chase too much. Yet, the messages on Ashley Madison from The Renaissance Man intrigued me enough to agree to a face-to-face meeting to see if there would be any chemistry between us. We made plans to enjoy a glass of wine and chat at a nearby restaurant.
So, Saturday afternoon I primped and preened, then headed out the door feeling a little nervous, yet curious. Would I recognize him? Would he find me attractive? Would I be attracted to him, and would we have any chemistry?
My first concern was easily put to rest, as I was able to find and recognize The Renaissance Man seated at the bar, one of just a few patrons because it was early in the evening. My second concern faded because The Renaissance Man did not recoil at the sight of me. Was I his type? That I could not say yet, but at least he did not seem repelled by my appearance. And what about my third concern? Well, his AM profile was honest
(we both admitted to having a few extra pounds). He was tall and had dark hair with strands that had faded into a distinguished shade of grey. I would summarize his appearance as better than average with a rough edge, punctuated by a neatly trimmed goatee. A verdict on the chemistry factor would have to wait, but it seemed as if the meeting would not be a loss based on these first impressions.
I sat next to him at the deep cherry wood bar and we exchanged introductions. Using our AM names was out of the question in public. He had already ordered a martini, and politely offered me a red wine from a list provided by the bartender. The conversation was a little slow, and I admitted my anxious feelings as my wine was served. I was relieved to have something to calm my nerves. I listened with intent as he talked about his penchant for history (The Renaissance Period) the 2 diverse careers he has had, and his European travels. The conversation then turned to why and how we found AM. He was looking for a friend with benefits to fill a void. He loves his spouse and adores his family, but his needs are not being fulfilled on the home front. (His story sounded so similar to those I have read on other blogs!) I learned that this was his first AM date, and his first venture into infidelity. I admitted to having waded into the infidelity waters before. I had hinted in one of my messages that I had a unique marital arrangement. The Renaissance Man was curious, but I was not quite ready to explain my hotwife lifestyle just yet. Small talk continued as we finished our drinks. He ordered a bottle of wine to enjoy with some food. (This kind of thoughtfulness was something I was not used to, and it really felt like a date!) I decided that it was a good time to spill the beans, and explained my situation. He was curious, and even jokingly asked if DH was watching from afar! He asked questions and I provided a little history. I am always worried that our situation will sound freakish to strangers, and turn men off. My fears were unfounded, as he seemed more intrigued as I confessed a few of my secrets. In fact, he commented that it must be nice to have the freedom to 'play' and still have a loving husband to go home to. He quickly and easily surmised that my dates were foreplay for my romance at home. I felt weird talking about it aloud, rather than writing for you, dear fans. Anyway, the date progressed well.
We talked.
We ate.
We drank.
It seemed as if there was at least the foundation for a friendship, if not romantic chemistry. We were both cautious about running into acquaintances, so there were only slight, accidental touches, primarily on my part. I realized that an attraction was beginning to build as I privately entertained the thought of discreetly sliding my hand along his thigh. I quickly dismissed the thought due to the risk factor involved for him. Our time spent talking provided the friendly and intelligent connection we were both hoping for.
When the food was gone and the bottle of wine was empty, I acknowledged his need to get home sooner rather than later. My evening was wide open, but his alibi would not excuse his absence for too much longer. I had no idea if he was feeling any attraction, but I asked if he’d walk me to my car as we gathered our coats. When we arrived at my car, I took a chance and asked if he wanted to sit inside and talk a little longer. He accepted my invitation, which indicated the chance of a good night kiss. Once inside, I fumbled with the volume on the stereo that had been blaring on my way to our rendezvous, and he asked “So where do we go from here?” I honestly and coyly said that I wasn’t sure, since I had no idea if he was feeling an attraction or not.
He took the initiative and drew me close for a kiss…
