The Renaissance Man... part one of my 8th confession - (and the continuation of Craigslist: 0, Ashley Madison: 1)

I like the thrill of the chase. That is probably what attracted me to the idea of hotwifing the most. Back in my younger, single days, I did not do much barhopping or hooking-up. I was the quiet one, the good friend who looked out for my girlfriends, and made sure we got home safely. I was the modest sidekick, too shy to dance seductively with strangers or bare much skin. I lacked the confidence to attract the attention of hormonally charged 20-something guys. But, as a hotwife, I have permission from DH to do the things I was too timid to do decades ago. I get to experience the thrill of the chase…

* * * * * * * * * * *

When looking for a potential lover on Ashley Madison, the chase begins at a keyboard, rather than at a dimly lit bar over drinks. Perhaps that is why I had been unsuccessful on AM up until now. I missed the thrill of the chase too much. Yet, the messages on Ashley Madison from The Renaissance Man intrigued me enough to agree to a face-to-face meeting to see if there would be any chemistry between us. We made plans to enjoy a glass of wine and chat at a nearby restaurant.

So, Saturday afternoon I primped and preened, then headed out the door feeling a little nervous, yet curious. Would I recognize him? Would he find me attractive? Would I be attracted to him, and would we have any chemistry?

My first concern was easily put to rest, as I was able to find and recognize The Renaissance Man seated at the bar, one of just a few patrons because it was early in the evening. My second concern faded because The Renaissance Man did not recoil at the sight of me. Was I his type? That I could not say yet, but at least he did not seem repelled by my appearance. And what about my third concern? Well, his AM profile was honest (we both admitted to having a few extra pounds). He was tall and had dark hair with strands that had faded into a distinguished shade of grey. I would summarize his appearance as better than average with a rough edge, punctuated by a neatly trimmed goatee. A verdict on the chemistry factor would have to wait, but it seemed as if the meeting would not be a loss based on these first impressions.

I sat next to him at the deep cherry wood bar and we exchanged introductions. Using our AM names was out of the question in public. He had already ordered a martini, and politely offered me a red wine from a list provided by the bartender. The conversation was a little slow, and I admitted my anxious feelings as my wine was served. I was relieved to have something to calm my nerves. I listened with intent as he talked about his penchant for history (The Renaissance Period) the 2 diverse careers he has had, and his European travels. The conversation then turned to why and how we found AM. He was looking for a friend with benefits to fill a void. He loves his spouse and adores his family, but his needs are not being fulfilled on the home front. (His story sounded so similar to those I have read on other blogs!) I learned that this was his first AM date, and his first venture into infidelity. I admitted to having waded into the infidelity waters before. I had hinted in one of my messages that I had a unique marital arrangement. The Renaissance Man was curious, but I was not quite ready to explain my hotwife lifestyle just yet. Small talk continued as we finished our drinks. He ordered a bottle of wine to enjoy with some food. (This kind of thoughtfulness was something I was not used to, and it really felt like a date!) I decided that it was a good time to spill the beans, and explained my situation. He was curious, and even jokingly asked if DH was watching from afar! He asked questions and I provided a little history. I am always worried that our situation will sound freakish to strangers, and turn men off. My fears were unfounded, as he seemed more intrigued as I confessed a few of my secrets. In fact, he commented that it must be nice to have the freedom to 'play' and still have a loving husband to go home to. He quickly and easily surmised that my dates were foreplay for my romance at home. I felt weird talking about it aloud, rather than writing for you, dear fans. Anyway, the date progressed well.

We talked.

We ate.

We drank.

It seemed as if there was at least the foundation for a friendship, if not romantic chemistry. We were both cautious about running into acquaintances, so there were only slight, accidental touches, primarily on my part. I realized that an attraction was beginning to build as I privately entertained the thought of discreetly sliding my hand along his thigh. I quickly dismissed the thought due to the risk factor involved for him. Our time spent talking provided the friendly and intelligent connection we were both hoping for.

When the food was gone and the bottle of wine was empty, I acknowledged his need to get home sooner rather than later. My evening was wide open, but his alibi would not excuse his absence for too much longer. I had no idea if he was feeling any attraction, but I asked if he’d walk me to my car as we gathered our coats. When we arrived at my car, I took a chance and asked if he wanted to sit inside and talk a little longer. He accepted my invitation, which indicated the chance of a good night kiss. Once inside, I fumbled with the volume on the stereo that had been blaring on my way to our rendezvous, and he asked “So where do we go from here?” I honestly and coyly said that I wasn’t sure, since I had no idea if he was feeling an attraction or not.
He took the initiative and drew me close for a kiss…

Craigslist vs: Ashley Madison... the beginning

To say that my hotwifing activities have been curbed in recent months would be an understatement. As loyal readers know, despite a few attempts on my part, I have not had a confession to share since meeting The Pilot. Family, work, and mundane daily chores and routines come first, but are not nearly as exciting as pursuing new lovers.

Last spring I responded to an ad on craigslist, but was unable to meet the man who had traveled to my town on business. I returned to craigslist last month and replied to another ad placed by a traveler, but nothing ever came of that attempt, either.

I have expressed my AM frustrations before, but decided to make my profile public again after months of keeping it hidden. Oh sure, I had logged on to check out the male profiles from time to time, and even emailed one WITH a passkey to my private photo, but he never replied. My ego was bruised. Not only was I unable to find a man in a bar, but now I was facing cyber-rejection. Now my self-esteem was really low!

So, I was pleasantly surprised to find a well-written priority message in my AM mailbox about 2 weeks ago. Of course the bright yellow subject line caught my attention, but more importantly, the message was clever, witty, and grammatically correct (yes, I am a grammar nut)! He made good use of information he learned about me from my profile, including my predilection for red wines, to write an interesting introduction about himself. I detected hint of charm mingled with sarcasm - a combination that always appeals to me. I waited a few days to reply, because trying to compose a witty and flirtatious reply amid holiday hustle and bustle was hard. What followed was a series of more than a dozen crafty replies and one brief chat on AM. The result? A date planned for last night…

Reflections... on this blog & my journey this far

Dear Readers,
I apologize for the lack of posts recently. I had some time off a few weeks ago before transferring to a new department at work, which allowed me time to enjoy and write about my Afternoon Delight, and practice my oral skills with DH and The Pilot. Now, I am settling into my new role at work, learning new policies and procedures, as well as getting to know my new clients. My return to work coincided with the shout out from Fleshbot, and now a link on Love Boudoir. I hope my new readers will continue to check back for future confessions. I blog about my confessions in real time, which means that I go out in search of playmates when life allows. As a working mother, I have to make sure that my hotwife endeavors do not compromise my family or my job performance. I am hopeful that my new position at work will not be as stressful as my previous role (something that I never really blogged about, but I was very unhappy in my old department). DH has a new job, too. So far, our new schedules are better, and we are enjoying more time together, rather than acting like two ships that pass in the night.

Last night, I went out in hopes of finding a playmate, but came home without a confessions to share. As I sipped my wine, I enjoyed thinking about previous successful hotwife nights. The Seducer will always be a fond memory, as he was the one who really initiated me into this lifestyle, although he will never know it. Our passionate encounter turned me on more than I ever though possible in regards to extramarital activities. I wish I had paid more attention to things, like the color of his eyes and the size of his cock. I was so excited by the events as they happened, that I neglected to take the time to commit all the details to my memory. I do remember feeling surprised that I was actually flirting with and kissing another man. I also remember feeling shocked when he took my hand and placed it on the growing bulge in his jeans. When we talked, there was a mutual connection, a sense of naughtiness, and attraction, all of which added to the experience. In retrospect, I wonder if I should have gone to his hotel room... Oh well.
I also thought about The Italian Kisser. Despite the issues I had with him after the fact, I still enjoyed my encounters with him. There was a strong attraction between us, and he took my hotwife cherry. He is the only man that I have been with more than once in my hotwife adventures. As a read back on my first post about him now, I realized that I never fully explained the moniker that I bestowed upon him. The pick up line that he used after he helped to rid me of the annoying old man went something like this: "Have you ever had an Italian Kiss?" I looked at him coyly and asked, "Is that a drink, or are you referring to yourself?" Then of course, as the evening went on, we kissed quite a bit, and it seemed appropriate to to name him The Italian Kisser.
I would be lying if I did not say that I am little disappointed that The Pilot never contacted me after our get together in his truck. I thought about his thick cock for days, no weeks, after sucking him and giving him a hand job. I enjoyed our conversation and our playtime. That encounter left me hungry for more. So hungry in fact, that I have even started checking out Ashley Madison (thanks for the tips, RiffDog!). I have not seriously tried to find a playmate on there, but getting wink messages is entertaining! Should I feel guilty for having a profile there if I am not 100% sure that I want to meet someone face to face?

I have had a few requests for confessions from my pre-hotwifing days. As any of my regular readers know, my early posts explained how vanilla and typical my sex life was. However, there are a few tales to tell, which I would be happy to share if more than just a few fans are curious.

We are both enjoying the hotwife lifestyle more than I ever imagined we would! Thanks to the readers who left comments on an earlier post about their experiences. I enjoy the process of getting ready to go out with hopes of a sexual encounter with a new friend. The thrill of the chase turns me on. The 'newness' factor arouses me. The first look, the first touch, and first kiss ignite something deep inside me. I still can't believe how much DH is turned on by having a hotwife. Honestly, I can't believe how turned on I get from this double life, too.

Well, I have created a random/potpourri post that is equivalent to a sitcom clip show, complete with links to other posts for you to enjoy. I want to thank my loyal readers for coming back even when weeks go by without a new post, and welcome new readers who have found my suburbia via links on other blogs and sites.

Until next time,
~SuburbanHotwife
;-)

The Pilot... part one of my 7th confession

As promised, I have a new confession...

I felt pretty good getting ready to go out last night. I wore a black V-neck shirt that showed some cleavage, new jeans that looked good, and open-toed high heel shoes. With a spritz of perfume, some lip gloss, one last check of my hair, and a wink of approval from DH, I was out the door.

After drinks with my friend, I decided not to stay at the Mexican place (where I kissed The Tongue Stud) because there didn’t seem to be any prospects. I am a creature of habit, so I drove the short distance to the hip and trendy bar that I have grown to feel comfortable in. DH and I went there together recently, but the place was dead on that occasion. It was busier and full of promise last night.

I sat at the bar and ordered a glass of wine. I glanced around the room, taking mental notes on the people in the place. While I did not identify a possible playmate right away, it seemed like there were a few men who might have potential. I sat alone for about an hour, just sipping my wine and keeping my antennae alert. I spied a tall man a few barstools over to my left drinking a beer. He was alone, and caught me looking his way a few times. Each time I would glance away as if embarrassed that he saw me checking him out. I felt the butterflies in my stomach when he got up and walked my way… right past me toward the door. *sigh*

All this time there had been a couple, seated between the tall man and me. Every once in a while I would catch a bit of their conversation, and eventually asked the woman to watch my seat while I went to the restroom. When I came back, I was pleased to see the tall man had also returned. When the couple between us paid their tab and left, I hoped that the tall man would move over. No such luck. He moved to a spot that afforded him a better view of Sports Center on the TV. Oh well.

I was chatting with a bartender when the guy who had been part of the couple came back. The bartender asked, “So, you’re back?” with a raised eyebrow. The guy said that his match(dot)com date was not a match. The bartender and I laughed at this announcement.“I’ll have another beer”, the guy said, and sat in the empty seat next to me. We began chatting about why there was no love connection tonight and his other failed dates from the internet. Then his date texted him to thank him and let him know she made it home safely. He also got a text from a male friend who had also been on a first date with similar results.

For the first time, I began to notice this guy: light brown hair, nice smile, light eyes, about 5’9”, height and weight proportional… overall, not bad! Things were looking up, and I began to wonder where things might lead…

We carried on an intelligent conversation about many things, and maintained eye contact the entire time. Over the course of an hour and a half we talked about dating, sports, wineries, jobs and travel. When he told me that he’s a pilot for a major airline, I immediately conjured up an image of him in his uniform – very hot!

He seemed pleased that I wanted to stick around for another drink and talk more. I never mentioned being married, but did not hide my wedding ring. The Pilot never asked who I went to Europe with when we talked about travel, or inquired when I used plural pronouns such as us and we. We talked for along time with out any hint of physical contact, other than a firm handshake when we eventually exchanged names. I began to wonder if he was being respectful or if I just wasn’t his type. He did notice and comment on my red toenails peeking out of my 'sexy shoes' (his words), so I began to feel hopeful. I decided that if I wanted something to happen I was going to have to make the first move.

“So, back to the gal from match(dot)com,” I said with my hands out in front of me like a scale. “Based on your hopes for your date tonight, who met your expectations better, her… or me?” I asked as my hands teetered like a balance when I said our names.
“No contest. YOU.”
“Really?” I inquired coyly.
“Yes, you. You are much more intelligent, and sexier,” he said.
“Have you noticed anything about me?”
“Well, I noticed you, drinking your wine while I was on my date. You are the reason I came back for another beer,” he answered.
“You came back to see me?”
“Yes. I kept thinking about kissing your entire body while she was still here.”
“Oh, thank you," I blushed, "but what I meant was, have you figured something out about me?”
“You mean the wedding ring? Yeah, I saw it. So what brings you to this bar alone if you are married?”

And that is when I explained my situation and being a hotwife. He seemed to understand that sharing me is a fantasy/turn on for DH, then asked, “So, what is in it for you?”
“I like the thrill of flirting with a stranger. I was a bit of a wallflower and a late bloomer before I got married, so I enjoy this chance to try things I might have missed out on. Plus, it adds spice to our sex life when I tell DH all about what happens when I go out.”
“Has this arrangement worked well for you two?”
“Yes,” I confirmed. “So, if you use relationship websites to look for dates, you are probably looking for something more than a random hook up, and yet you have been sitting here with me for hours, knowing I am married,” I said.

Just then, a woman on his other side asked if he could scoot over so she could squeeze in another stool. We were now very close to each other. We grinned at our new proximity and locked eyes. “Did you pay her to do that?” I jokingly asked. We chuckled.
“No, but I am not complaining, are you?” he teased. “Back to your comment... Yes, I would someday like to find a woman to settle down with, but I am not opposed to releasing some energy with physical contact once in a while.” I knew what he was implying, but was caught off guard by his next statement.

“I want to take you to my house and touch you, kiss you, and feel your body against mine.”

I looked at my watch. It was 2:15 am. “I am afraid it is just too late for that, but you could kiss me here.” His body slouched in disappointment. I felt bad. If only he hadn’t been such a gentleman for so long… I would have taken him up on his offer but it was really too late for me.

“Can I at least walk you to your car and give you a good night kiss there?” he suggested.

“That I can do,” I said. We walked out to the parking garage. “I have an idea. Why don’t we go sit in your car instead of going to my mom-mobile and see what happens.”

His smile and the way he offered his arm to escort me let me know that this idea met with his approval.

Off we went…

(edited to add a key detail post publishing)

Reflections and musings about my wine-induced behavior

Here is the outcome of my wine-induced craigslist reply ...

When I answered the ad, I gave a brief description of myself, mentioned when I 'd be available, and included a link to this blog to provide more info about myself and my situation. I did not get a reply right away, so I figured my message was lost among a sea of emails in the inbox of the man who posted the ad. But I was wrong.

When I found a reply in my inbox a few days later, the man thanked me for providing him with such good material to pleasure himself to! WOW - A satisfied reader!

It turns out that the man was visiting my town (presumably on business), without his wife, and was looking for companionship with the possibility of more. Our schedules conflicted, and he had left town on the date I had tried to plan a 'get together'. We have emailed a few times, and he might be traveling to my town again over the summer, so we have mentioned the possibility of meeting in the future. I'll admit, I have created a fantasy or two (while my hands wandered over my body...) of what might happen when we meet, but I am cautious and aware that real life might be very different than in my imagination. Will we click? Will there be an instant attraction, and how far will things go...? For now my questions will have to go unanswered.

On a side note, the man did go on a date with a woman who replied to his ad. He said it was rather disappointing... good thing I had provided him with interesting reading material!

Who knows, maybe in a few months I will have a hot story to tell about the man from craigslist...

The Seducer. . . my 3rd confession

Many months had passed since my last failed mission, and we had moved to a new town. One night, after a busy evening of last minute holiday shopping, I decided to stop for a glass of wine before heading home. DH had found a great bar inside of a hotel not too far from our neighborhood, so I figured I'd go there to unwind. I had no hidden agenda or plan that night - I just wanted to relax before going home.
When I arrived, it was clear that this place was uncommonly quiet. I am sure it was due to the fact that it was mid-week right before Christmas. I sat down, ordered a glass of wine, and lit up a cigarette (yes at this point in my life I kept a hidden stash handy in case the mood struck me). I was one of only a handful of patrons for quite a while before a man sat down a few stools away from me at the bar. We sat parallel and rather unaware of each other for a long time before he initiated a conversation with me. I am not even sure I can remember what small talk we exchanged at first. Then it dawned on me... he was flirting with me! Opportunity was sitting right beside me, I had had been totally clueless! DH texted me to see if I was OK. After all, this had been a chance encounter when all I had planned to do was have a drink, and it was getting late. I returned his message, telling him what was happening while my drinking mate was in the restroom. DH's response?... Have fun, but to come home to tell him all about it.

I began to take note of the stranger's appearance and features. He was older, and kind of reminded me of an actor I had always thought was attractive. At some point I felt the wine go to my head, as I allowed him to move closer and talk seductively to me. I returned his flirtatious advances with coy, breathy responses as I batted my eyelashes at The Seducer. He bought more drinks; I began acting bolder. I learned that he was staying at the hotel while in town for business. We shared that we were both married. He asked what DH would think if he knew that I was spending time with another man. Instead of replying, I showed him the text from DH, to which The Seducer just smiled like the Cheshire Cat. I learned that this would not be The Seducer's first extramarital encounter. In fact, he had been with two women at once in a previous escapade. I was intrigued by his history, and leaned in closer to hear every sexy detail. We exchanged light kisses during breaks in our conversation. He whispered compliments into my ear as he guided my hand to his lap, where I discovered that my charm had aroused The Seducer. WOW! What power I suddenly felt! I could not believe that I could evoke this response just by flirting and exchanging double entendres with The Seducer. Of course, he had made the first move, and done most of the wooing while I willingly joined in. I was also feeling aroused, drunk with power and wine! I am sure that I blushed when I realized that I was being seduced and that he wanted to do more than just talk. It was so late, that the bartender had to ask us to leave so he could close up. We walked out toward the hotel lobby, when The Seducer invited me up to his room. I told him that I was not ready to join him upstairs, but I'd be willing to take a walk around for a little while. He agreed, and we walked for a bit. We found ourselves investigating an area undergoing remodeling. It was to be a swanky ultra lounge, and it was equipped with posh booths and chairs. Once inside, The Seducer backed me against a wall, and proceeded to kiss me with strength and passion. I was taken aback, but enjoyed the kiss and kissed back with eagerness. I could not believe what was happening! I was caught up in a whirlwind of seduction, as his hands moved under my sweater to feel my breasts. I let go of what little inhibition I had left and allowed my hands to explore his body. The Seducer moved me to a chair and knelt before me. We kissed and groped like teenagers. Before I knew it, The Seducer had undone my pants to gain access to my wet and sensitive region. He was kissing my neck and breasts while he stimulated me below the belt. I, in turn, reached down to feel his hardness, which was ready to burst out of his jeans. He unzipped his jeans so that I could pleasure him better. We briefly discussed that fact that neither of us had a condom, so mutual masturbation would have to suffice. I was so caught up in the moment that I was startled when I realized that I was cheating on DH. I allowed myself to get swept back into the heat of passion as The Seducer and I continued to kiss and pleasure each other. When it was all over, and The Seducer had walked me to my car, I felt surprisingly good, yet suddenly guilty, for fooling around with another man.

Feeling dazed and shaky, I drove home. It was very early in the morning, but DH was awake and waiting for me. I was afraid to get too close to DH, for fear that he would regret having given me the idea and permission to explore fantasies with another man. DH later told me that I had a look of fire and fear in my eyes when I got home. He asked me to tell him what happened at the bar. As we had agreed upon, I told him every detail. We had hot, passionate, amazing sex for many nights after my night of extramarital fun. In the days that followed that encounter, I found it hard to concentrate on mundane daily life. My mind often wondered back to the dark room at the hotel where I had allowed another man, a complete stranger, to touch me and bring me to climax.

The Seducer will forever live in my mind, and DH and I talk about him, and that night, when we want to heat things up between the sheets. So much for my average marriage and being a goody-two-shoes... I am an adulteress (with permission) now...

Post Script: Diane Lane portrayed my feelings after that night quite well in the train scene from Unfaithful ...